deciding.

it’s interesting how the things that fill us the most are the things that we most often let go of first.

— i feel like i’ve typed this sentence before so it must be a repeating line in my mind —

self care, creativity, our passions, serving others (if it doesn’t come natural to you)  -they seem like so much work – such a lot of effort and we don’t have any energy — i love to write.  every time i make a list of things i’m passionate about – writing is in the top five.  writing is also one of the first things to get pushed aside and forgotten when i feel overwhelmed – which is kind of terrible as it’s the second best way for me to process life.

this last week, i was able to check one of my dreams off my list and attend a few days of education seminars.  i filled my brain to the brim and then had 14 hours alone in the car to think about it all.  i attended a Gala with 5,500 amazing people.  the energy in that room was so high.  these people are doing.  they push forward and keep going, believing in themselves and what they are passionate about.  the night before i left, i had a conversation with a gentleman i had never met that will never leave me – as i voiced my concern about time and he said no — “i’m busy.  i make more money than _____, but i’m here.  it’s not about that.  it’s about this.”   (he is quite busy by the way — VP of a company, family, service projects, church, you know the drill)  —  he has decided.  he is crystal clear on what his priorities are in his life.  no excuses.

deciding is the hard part.

i tend to have a hard time deciding – i want to be 100% right (perfectionism anyone) – to have all the information – for it to be black and white in a gray world. and deciding is committing and once you commit you don’t want to fail…

i have to decide that i really do want to take care of myself and my body – that it is a priority – those 10 minute workouts or taking a walk will make a difference.  that fritos don’t need to be in my stomach as often as i’d like them.

i have to decide that taking the time to pull out my scrapbooking or sit down and write, even though i’d rather just veg out on instagram or watch hulu, is how i really want to feed my soul.

i have to decide that my passions are important, that i want them, and write them down — goals are dreams written down on paper (pinterest quote?).

i spent some serious time in my Bible this morning — it has a way of helping me to get my priorities on the right track — reading the word.  praying about my fears and dreams  — getting clear.  now i’m writing down some goals — and writing this post. there’s nothing like having someone (a real life person who you don’t know) call you out on your excuses to help you find some clarity and light the fire.

on that note – i encourage you to spend a few minutes today getting clear and writing some goals.  leave one in the comments – i’d love to read them.

i came home and after two weeks of being incredibly busy and surrounded by people 24/7 — i had a little melt down once i stopped going — anyone else out there an introverted extrovert?  tired, some water damage in the house from a storm while we were gone (my ocd nightmare), the end of my week long cold, a few less than ideal conversations, a long to-do list, and the latest found last night – missing the back corner of one of my molars – along with other randomness…   it just doesn’t stop.  you could probably write a list of your own that you are currently dealing with too.  so, i spent some time reacting.  maybe a few hours of wallowing.

(quote from pinterest)

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